so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
you win again, gameday.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Randomize
