The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
