Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
