If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I need a hoe opinion
go on
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