This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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