Where is the hickey?
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
