Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
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