Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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