Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
