I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
