I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
