and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
