Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
you win again, gameday.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Randomize
