Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
