every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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