So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
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