Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize