I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
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