Sry I called you an 8
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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