I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
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