I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
