***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
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