Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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