Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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