Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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