How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
