I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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