i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
