i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
