come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
