true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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