omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
