in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Randomize
