My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
We left the knife in your bed.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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