why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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