I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
