Where is the hickey?
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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