i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
