yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
