I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
