I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
