Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
