dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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