idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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