I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
