Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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