you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
