she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
