One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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