you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize