I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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