I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Randomize
