Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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