i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
