8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
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