ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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