His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Randomize
