I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
