Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
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