Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
