She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
