i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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