Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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