I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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